


Numbered Things

by I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Deathfic, F/M, Gen, Heavy Angst, ObitineWeek2018, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26552038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning/pseuds/I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning
Summary: As Old Ben's life draws to a close he thinks of the times his heart broke, and other wistful, sad things.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze, Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 11
Kudos: 74





	Numbered Things

**Author's Note:**

> Written for ObitineWeek2018, Day 6: Numbers (September 29th)

There had been zero kisses. No sex. No vows, no children, no shared home.

There had been an infinite number of naysayers because that was so.

There had been one determination, across two hearts, to be true each to themselves and to one another, damn the experts and “friends” who cast judgment on them and what they had.

There had been two wars. Hers on her homeworld, and then, later, his, across the galaxy. And then a third war that Obi-Wan found he just didn't have the heart for anymore.

He was fifty-seven years old, but he looked closer to seventy, his hair thin and bone white, his knees stiff, his body breaking apart.

His heart had broken eleven times in his life. Twice for Satine— leaving her, and then as he held her while she died. Many times had been for Qui-Gon, in their tumultuous years. He had never been in love with his master, but being in love was hardly necessary, for a broken heart.

As Anakin so terribly proved.

It was to face Anakin that Obi-Wan was going now. One more time.

He would find Satine on the other side, she'd been waiting for him for a long time in the safe depths of the Force.

Soon it would all be over, and Obi-Wan would rest.

He felt rather sorry he would not get to see Luke come into his own. Obi-Wan hadn't realized, on that flight to Alderaan, that _today_ was the day he would die. No, that had happened fifteen minutes ago.

He'd tried to say goodbye, but _goodbye_ had never been his strong suit.

_Yes, Master. Satine. You were my brother, I loved you. The Force will be with you, always._

But there was only one thing left to do, one thing that mattered. He would face Vader, distract him so he would not recognize the Force-signatures of his two children aboard the Death Star, and then he would die.

So close.

It felt like a relief, and it felt like a rush of adrenaline and excitement, like going on an adventure, a keenness in his blood he hadn't felt in so _long._

_Satine._

He found Vader.

One more battle, and with that done, one more breath. One more salute with his saber, one more prayer to the universe, for Luke to be kept safe, that somehow, all of the pain and struggle and heartache might _mean_ something someday—

One more wound.

And then Satine.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Incidentally, the list of heartbreaks I compiled to work from:
> 
> \- Bandomeer  
> \- Melida/Daan  
> \- Tahl's death & Qui-Gon's reaction to it & Bant's rejection  
> \- Leaving Satine  
> \- QG death  
> \- Satine death   
> \- Order 66  
> \- Anakin's Fall  
> \- Anakin's burning  
> \- Padmé's death  
> \- Owen telling him he can't have a relationship with tiny Luke


End file.
